How to overcome feelings of inadequacy and under-achievement

Published by Amaka Chibuzo-Obi on

I was discussing with a friend some days ago and she said something to me which made me smile knowingly. She said “Amaka, I feel like I have not achieved anything in my life. I feel as though I am just coasting, while others are conquering.”

I smiled to myself because what she was saying sounded so familiar to me! As familiar as my black bra! 🤦‍♀️😜

I smiled because, I too have wined and dined with this thought – too many times than I care to admit. Sometimes, the thought comes in – croaky, scrapping, discomforting. It comes, silent yet very audible – “What have you achieved in your life? What great thing have you done? What accolades do you have under your belt? Look at so & so, they have done so much. You are just “marking time”!

I catch myself shaking my head from side to side, trying to shake away the thoughts, but, for where! The thing is as if it has 10 tentacles which it uses to hold tightly to the body of my mind, refusing to let go!

Dwell on it, and it succeeds in dampening your spirit.

So I had to learn how to devise a means to throw this negative thought right out my mind whenever it comes up! Which isn’t many times anymore because “I don get im medicine 😂”.

This method is super easy. You can do it anywhere and it works really really well!

What is it?

I challenge this thought with memories! Memories of a time I had conquered something I didn’t know I could. Memories of times I had stood in the face of adversity and came out on top! Times I had being amazing! Awesome!

I call up those memories. I amplify them. I soak them up. Savour them. Pat myself on the back as I give myself a thumbs-up.

I remind myself that, we can’t all achieve the same things, the same way at the same time.

I remind myself that I am a unique, exceptional, one-of-kind masterpiece who has a beautiful, shiny bright future ahead of her.

And before I know it, I am smiling, i feel better and I succeed in chasing the octopus away!

Try it! Create a repertoire of memories of you doing amazing stuff, and call each up whenever you begin to feel like you are not doing as well as your counterparts.

Always remember this: It is just a matter of time!

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